Wowww. I cannot believe it that I was really gone, but now I am back. Haha! I have ots of things to share to you, Tumblr. Gosh I missed you!!!!!

Hello Tumblr World.

I just want to vent!!!!!!! Haha. I mean, maybe the reason why I do not have work is because I do not want to work for someone else. Maybe you are thinking, ‘what kind of mindset does this person have???’, right???? I mean, I also asked myself the same thing. How could I earn if I do not work for someone else or if I do not apply for a job or in a company? I am not talented. All I do best is play games, have a bunch of clashing ideas in my mind but not take action. I want to write a book, or poem, or just stream. But I cannot earn and save money just by those things, I am not famous or whatsoever. I am just a normal, ordinary, selfish, stubborn, 25 year old human being. I do not belong into any factions in this world. I do not know anymore. For me to be able to do what I want, I need to have money, like, I want to run a chicken wings business because I love chicken, but where can I get the capital? Of course, I need to have a decent and a stable job to start a business. Plus, I want to do clay works. but I am not that artistic enough. The problem with me is I want to do a lot of things, which I do not know very well, I take time to study those things, but when I learn it, I would not pursue it. What the hell is my problem?????!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahha. I do not want to be save by a random person too. I want to work my way through and not depend on anyone, like bigtime, but I know that I cannot do this alone and by myself. I am so screwed. I get anxious because I feel like I am losing and wasting so much time. What happened to the previous years? It’s like I have wasted it all. Anyway, aside form the chicken business and clay, I want to be a streamer, and I want to be a barista and own a coffee shop, I want to learn how to knit and bake, I just need sponsors!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. For the materials, etc. I am struggling to get my life together. I am grateful to have parents that are patient while I figure out what I want to do in life or who I should become, but I know I should be helping them and not waste my time and their time. I want to learn how to draw and animate but I lack the talent and skills. I sing and play uke, but I am not that skilled to be a musician. I am not good at anything but asks question and struggle. Hahaha. I sometimes cry out of my frustrations, that is all I could do. I write quotes but those are not poems. I also want to write a book and be an author but how?? I don’t write much and well. I love to read but I do not know how to write a good review. For once, I want to figure out what I want to do in my life, and have the will to pursue it, be good at it and live my life doing it. I know I can be whoever I want to be, but I need to be good at one thing……..